One family’s experience of growing old and vulnerable in America…
Like so many others in the Greatest Generation Warren and Teen Johnson worked hard, enjoyed life, raised a family and retired. Then they became elderly and ill. The task of helping them negotiate the final stages of their lives fell to their daughter Jackie, who at the age of 50 took her first steps as daughter/advocate on an eight-year journey dedicated to the preservation of her parents’ quality-of-life. At first the trek appeared manageable. But, once pneumonia claimed her father, and dementia rendered her mother silent and wheelchair-bound, everything changed. Because of her diminished condition Teen was moved to her final home: a complex, disconcerting and sometimes dangerous eldercare living arrangement known simply as the nursing home. “Breathe, breathe” became Jackie’s mantra as she visited daily, documented her mother’s care and advocated for her well-being. Then, when 3 ½ years of disturbing nursing home realities could not be buried as peacefully as her mother’s ashes, Jackie determined that the finish line of what had become an exhausting marathon could not be crossed until she finally gave voice to her mother’s story.
The essay that became the seed for the book: A Daughter’s Promise: Taking Care of Mom in the 21st Century
A short story: “Chocolates, Anyone?”
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BOOK GROUPS: Jackie invites groups to read her memoir and to discuss ways to advocate for compassionate, resident-centered care for the ill and elderly. The questions below can be used to jumpstart discussions.
If you are interested in inviting Jackie for a reading or book group discussion, please contact her at jaclynnherron@yahoo.com
1. Singing Solo: In Search of a Voice for Mom covered a ten-year period. As the author moved through these years as her parents’ advocate, which of her discoveries/attitude changes most surprised you? Which resonated, and why?
2. How was dementia described in the book and how did this disability affect Teen, her daughter, son-in-law, grandchildren and others? How has dementia affected the lives of your friends and loved ones?
3. “Trust your instincts” was a guideline that Jackie attributed to her mother. What parental messages have impacted the way you navigate through life?
4. If you could design a living arrangement for yourself or a loved one when additional assistance becomes imperative, what would your design include? In what ways would a plan for cognitively-impaired people differ from a plan for the physically-impaired?
5. Teen and Warren financed their long-term care with pensions and savings. How would you rate the “bang for the buck” after Teen moved to the nursing home? How would you finance expensive long-term care?
6. How did friends and family members offer critical support through the years? What acts of kindness have graced your life and the lives of those you care about?
7. What responsibilities should society undertake in assuring quality care for the elderly? What obstacles must be overcome?
8. For her loved ones, saying goodbye to Teen was a long process as dementia slowly robbed her of many aspects of her former self. Then when it became undeniable that Teen would not survive her last infection, many people surrounded her during a six-day vigil. How did the process of grieving unfold? How did it differ from your grief experiences?
9. Since Jackie and her parents considered hospice care a blessing during her brother’s final year of life, she was proactive in having her mother evaluated. How did hospice come to Teen’s rescue? Would you consider hospice care for your loved one? If so, at what point?
Additional questions can be found in Singing Solo: In Search of a Voice for Mom
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JacLynn Herron 
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