BOOK GROUPS: Jackie invites groups to read her memoir and to discuss ways to advocate for compassionate, resident-centered care for the ill and elderly. The questions below can be used to jumpstart discussions.
If you are interested in inviting Jackie for a reading or book group discussion, please contact her at jaclynnherron@yahoo.com or call 651-592-3995.
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1. Singing Solo: In Search of a Voice for Mom covered a ten-year period. As the author moved through these years as her parents’ advocate, which of her discoveries/attitude changes most surprised you? Which resonated, and why?
2. How was dementia described in the book and how did this disability affect Teen, her daughter, son-in-law, grandchildren and others? How has dementia affected the lives of your friends and loved ones?
3. “Trust your instincts” was a guideline that Jackie attributed to her mother. What parental messages have impacted the way you navigate through life?
4. If you could design a living arrangement for yourself or a loved one when additional assistance becomes imperative, what would your design include? In what ways would a plan for cognitively-impaired people differ from a plan for the physically-impaired?
5. Teen and Warren financed their long-term care with pensions and savings. How would you rate the “bang for the buck” after Teen moved to the nursing home? How would you finance expensive long-term care?
6. How did friends and family members offer critical support through the years? What acts of kindness have graced your life and the lives of those you care about?
7. What responsibilities should society undertake in assuring quality care for the elderly? What obstacles must be overcome?
8. For her loved ones, saying goodbye to Teen was a long process as dementia slowly robbed her of many aspects of her former self. Then when it became undeniable that Teen would not survive her last infection, many people surrounded her during a six-day vigil. How did the process of grieving unfold? How did it differ from your grief experiences?
9. Since Jackie and her parents considered hospice care a blessing during her brother’s final year of life, she was proactive in having her mother evaluated. How did hospice come to Teen’s rescue? Would you consider hospice care for your loved one? If so, at what point?
Additional questions can be found in Singing Solo: In Search of a Voice for Mom
The week before your reading/discussion, I saw a flyer at the Shoreview library. They didn’t have the book in yet, so I put one on “hold” (it was waiting the day of your reading, so I didn’t buy it).
I have not been able to find a phone number for you to find out where, after I buy a copy, I could have you sign it.
My sister and I don’t agree on much, although we love each other. We almost always disagree on the issues dealing with our almost 96 year old mother who has dementia.
I’d like to know if we have the right to tell the facility that we do NOT want a man giving her a bath or cleaning up after her?? We aren’t prejudiced but he does happen to be black. She is fine with the two black men and so are we except for giving her a bath or cleaning her bathroom problems.
I hope for a reply to both that question and how I can have you sign a couple of books…for me AND my sister.
Thank you,
Adrianne
Shoreview, MN
Adrianne, I will be contacting you by email to share my thoughts on both questions. Hopefully my book can encourage discussion between you and your sister on the complicated job of overseeing your mother’s care. If your mother is uncomfortable with a male aide giving her a bath, than a “resident-centered” approach by those in charge would take this fact into consideration. If other readers have insights into this staffing question, please pass them along through the blog.
Jackie
Hi Jackie,
I just finished your book. It was good to read Teen’s story. I enjoyed the pictures of your parents too. I want you to know that you had me up late reading when I should have been sleeping on school nights. You are a very good writer. Many times I thought, how does she remember all of these details so clearly at a time in your life that was so stressful? I couldn’t help but think back to those days at Irondale when we were teaching partners.
Thanks for a great read.
Shaun Adamski
Shaun, yes, my book involved the years that we taught together at Irondale High School. As my teaching partner you were so helpful with school-related issues. It was great working with you, and many thanks for your support each day. Having a great working environment at IHS gave me strength each day to tackle my other job: the nursing home visit and whatever it might entail.
How did I remember the details described in my book? I can thank my trusty journal which was my daily reservoir for details, emotions, questions and concerns. Like many writers, I journaled daily, and the seeds for the memoir were planted.